Ghosts Don't Need to Worry About Back Problems
by ManOfChocolate
Summary: Chara and Napstablook are ghost buddies doing ghost things, and having a ghastly fun time.
**A/N: Crossposting from AO3. This was another fic request from another kindly Anon on /utg/. The original prompt was "Chara and Napstablook are ghost buddies" and that spooked this little thing into existence. Title provided by the brave soul who maintains /utg/'s Writebin: ALL MY RESPECT TO YOU! This has been and will probably be the shortest request I've ever done, but people found it funny, so I thought I'd add this.**

 **Do ghosts need special spectral chocolate? Food for thought.**

* * *

Chara and Napstablook are ghost buddies doing ghost things, and having a ghastly fun time.

Notes

See the end of the work for notes

"Is it ready?"

"not yet... sorry, i'm really slow at this..."

Chara let out a noise that was decidedly halfway between a sigh and a growl. Although she had many self-professed virtues, patience was without a doubt, not one of them.

"...just a little more?"

"Fine, just get on with it."

Chara settled down and relaxed her face. A series of wonderful images ran through her head as she did, many of them involving sharp objects and copious amounts of blood, all of which helped her settle into the right mood.

The fallen child raised her head just a tiny bit and did her thing. Their eyes transitioned from a deep red to empty caverns of darkness, viscous black liquid seeping from the sockets. Their mouth followed suit, twisting into a horrifying grin far too long and wide for a normal human.

The brief transformation, as always, brought about the near-unbeatable urge to laugh, but Chara did their best to keep that part down for as long as possible. Mostly because it made Napstablook's work even harder.

Said ghost was marching on with the project like a champion. A little edit here and there, borders, background, fonts, opacity, all the different menus of the relatively simple program kept flashing about.

Chara meanwhile continued with her alarming, but also rather tiring pose. Sure, scaring basically everything out of any creature with even half a soul was something worth the brief discomfort, but this was definitely not sustainable in the long run.

"okay... that should be it..." Napstablook turned away from the computer and floated over to Chara.

The spirit-human lurched forward, coughing and spluttering. Her eyes returned to normal as well as her mouth. Even the cute little blushes on her cheeks followed after a brief moment.

She quickly started cussing and grumbling though, as the liquid that kept oozing from her eyes didn't just disappear with the rest of the effects. It was a genuinely scary sight, but it always itched like hell afterwards. She reached out and took the tissue Napstablook offered.

"...here you go... sorry, it's just single-layer..."

Chara shot him a brief glare, but was much more occupied with clearing the liquid from her face and eyes. Several darkened tissues later, she was back to relatively normal, whatever that meant to a ghost.

"You sure took your sweet time with that." she said, getting up to her feet.

Napstablook lowered his head, the familiar feeling of inadequacy washing over him. Life, or rather in his case, un-life truly was little more than prolonging the meaningless existence of an already meaningless per-

The light tap on the head quickly brought the ghost back to reality. He turned around to see Chara standing upright, extending a hand to the ghost.

"Wake up Naps, I wanna see what you've made." she said, her now-normal mouth cracking into a smile.

The ghost shuffled back into reality from the pocket dimension of negativity he so loved to reside in and hovered over to the computer again. Chara reached for the the keyboard, but as usual, her hand phased right through it.

"Can someone at least give me a rule book on how this is supposed to work?" she grumbled, mostly to herself. "Tissues OK, keyboard no, food OK, knives no."

Ghost life was significantly more annoying than latching onto any passing human SOULs. It wasn't even the power itself she missed, but the drastically reduced sphere of influence over reality and practically any object.

"i had a manual once..." Napstablook said. "a super-useful ghost manual, with tips, tricks and all kinds of useful notes."

"Where is it now?"

"...i left it out and it phased through the floor..."

Chara couldn't muster a meaningful response to that.

The ghost in the meantime opened up the tab for her. It was a rather impressive rendition of Chara's creepy expression, imposed over a dark background filled with demonic and macabre foliage. The gruesome imagery was further adorned by a series of bloody letters:

 **SPOOKTUNES 2: RE-HUMANIZER**

"...i know, it's pretty awful..." Napstablook sighed, only to feel a sudden increase of spectral weight on what he assumed to be his phantom shoulders.

"So cool..." she cooed, just about drooling over the album art.

"…really?" Napstablook peaked up a little. He wasn't bothered by the just about glowing red eyes, nor the fact that her teeth quickly started to resemble fangs. All that mattered is that someone, more importantly Chara, liked his work.

"Trust me on this, Naps." Chara circled a finger around the top of Napstablook's head. Without waiting for answer, she leaned forward a little more and gazed into the ghost's eyes with the most gleefully sinister, downright DETERMINED look he had ever seen from her.

"It'll knock 'em dead."


End file.
